Psalm 80 uses a word picture our hearts can understand: He fed them with the bread of tears. I don't like eating tears; I don't like it when my loved ones have to eat tears. Yet I believe God would never give a diet that leads to death. He loves life, and He has purpose: to reveal His best.
It always saddens me to hear people say, "I shouldn't ask God why." Why shouldn't we--if our desire is to know Him more? He wants to answer our questions--to show us His glory. Sometimes the answers take a while...He wants to make us stronger, to take us deeper (than we probably want to go). But He is a God who always does His best; He is good and He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. His love is the essence of perseverance; He wants us to love Him with that same passion.
Can I pray for you that He will give you precious treasures from darkness? And that you will share those treasures with others that life and love will flow from the pain? God wraps Himself in the darkness: Persevere to His glory.